WIBTAH for telling my wife that she cannot touch any money I make from my part time job?

Throw away account because my wife follows my main.

Long story short, I bring in $80,000 per year as our main source of income for our house due to my disabilities. It’s barely enough money to pay our bills, but that’s it. We don’t really have much extra money to do things like vacations, family outings, eating out, etc. Because of this, we also don’t have enough money to pay for things like renovations and upgrades to our home.

I have been trying to get my wife to get a job for YEARS but she refuses to as she wants to be a SAHM for our 4 kids (even though I’m always home). We got into this massive argument some time ago in which I said I wanted a divorce and I wanted to be done. She said she would fix her issues and get a job. That was months ago and I haven’t seen her try to search for jobs, apply for jobs, or even interview. When I ask about it, she gets flustered and refuses to engage in the conversation, or gets upset with me for “hounding her.” I’ve had a part time job before, but she saw it as extra money to do things with and spend on stuff. Whenever we get extra money from a family member for holidays/anniversary, it gets spent almost right away on various things that we don’t need. I cannot even save it for things that I would personally like to get, or for needed things like renovations/needed home upgrades.

Therefore, I am looking at getting a part time job in which I cannot make more than $1,300 per month due to my disability restrictions. WIBTAH if I put it in a separate bank account and told her that she cannot touch this money as I want to save this money to do things to upgrade the house, buy a new computer, save for a “new” vehicle, etc.

Edit: wow, didn’t expect this to blow up. I just logged on so I apologize for not responding for a while. I’ll be reading comments and getting back to people shortly.

Edit 2: I’ve seen quite a few people questioning the $80,000 disability, or why I cannot make a more than a certain amount of money, so please allow me to explain. I am a military veteran with PTSD. I do not qualify for full 100%, but since I cannot hold gainful employment, I have been granted IU (individual unemployability) meaning I cannot work and am being paid as such. In addition, I receive SSDI and also my kids receive a portion of my SSDI to help cover their expenses. All together, that equals a little over $80,000 a year.

Edit 3: Even though this is Reddit and anonymous, I do not feel comfortable sharing any specifics about my location, ages of my kids, etc. But I will say that I do live in the US, I live in a state with high inflation and a part of the state with a higher cost of living than the other portion (not my choice), and all 4 of my kids are under the age of 7, with two going into school this coming school year.

Edit 4: hopefully my last edit... I’ve had over 12+ jobs since getting out of the military 8 years ago. None have lasted more than 6 months. My inability to hold a job doesn’t mean I am unable to acquire a job. It just means that I cannot hold onto it because of my disability. However, because of my inability to hold a job, it has been making it increasingly difficult for me to even acquire a job. I’m not some hypocrite trying to tell my wife she needs to work, but not continuously trying to do so myself.